Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Banks Eat My Garbage

In the wake of the bear incident, the back yard is a mess. My wife suggested that I securitize the garbage.

That is a really brilliant solution. It's the same thing mortgage lenders do when they suspect that their own ... back yards are filled with, well, garbage. Securitize it: lump all the garbage together in a big pile, and then sell shares. It's a great deal for investors because it's diversified. Diversified means basically "what are the chances that this stuff is all garbage? Most of it must be good stuff." The sophisticated strategy that US savings banks used to protect themselves from Michael Milken's machinations in the '80s was another form of diversification: they didn't just buy one of his obviously unsound bond issues, they bought them all.

So, physically, in principle, sure, the garbage is still spread all over the back yard. But legally speaking it belongs to a syndicate of banks. Let them come and wrestle with the bears.

Unfortunately that's not quite what she meant by "securitize." Turns out we need to make the garbage shed more secure, like for example attach the door to its hinges.

I also have to pick up the garbage. If you've nominated me for the economics Nobel, now would be a good time for a quick temporizing email to Stockholm.


Blogger HA HA HA said...

dude its teh bioslime buble al ovar agiain!

2:02 PM  
Blogger Project WANNABE said...

What's the bioslime bubble?

2:10 PM  
Blogger HA HA HA said...

it was ralatad to teh deleware valey rhetorical questoin authorety an wooly mamoth asociates an the loose cannon press. an the fifth internatoinel workers asn pesantsa mutual fund an amputees addrift! and the occidental and western redundancy trust. and of course angular momentum entarprises.

oh and the fedral bureau of aproximations — motto 'cloase enoug fur govaroment work'

i think i didn send you alla them.

3:16 PM  
Blogger Project WANNABE said...

I don't think I ever heard about most of those. I would remember the DVRQA for sure.

3:32 PM  
Blogger Project WANNABE said...

But maybe I do vaguely remember Bioslime.

3:32 PM  
Blogger HA HA HA said...

'physically, in principle' - frogot to menetoin waht a great phrase that is.

9:49 AM  
Blogger Project WANNABE said...

Hehe! That was a highpoint for me too.

10:06 AM  

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