Saturday, January 27, 2007

The Fruit of the Carraway Tree

The Bible has much to say about bread, yet some in our society seem not to hear. Today's lesson: True rye bread is not some kind of foul black stuff with no seeds. That's pumpernickel or something; whatever you choose to call it, it is an abomination in his sight.

Listen to what scripture has to say. Leviticus 11:29-31. "I say to you, take the grains of wheat and rye, add the fruit of the carraway tree which is sacred, and bake this on your hearths. For rye without carraway is unclean to you and is an abomination."

Some bakers seem to believe that the LORD said "Make thou stunted tiny dry black square unswallowable loaves and never mind about the seeds." I ask them to beware. I ask them to heed the words of the LORD. I say to you O bakers, prepare a Christian (by which I mean Jewish) rye bread, with seeds ... or prepare yourself for everlasting agony in the Lake of Fire.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Ethelbert Humperdinck said...

Yea, and the LORD made the people to wander ten years in the land of Boston, where rye bread they findeth not, but only "dark rye", which is pumpernickel; and it is a scourge unto the righteous, and a comfort to the iniquitous.

And of the "dark rye" the iniquitous taketh one slice; and a mess of pastrami; and of cheese one slice; and of cole slaw a serving; and of the "dark rye" another slice; and this they call a "reuben", though it is cold and lacks dressing.

And the people were much oppressed, and vexed, and sorrowful, and sorely metagrobolized; and the iniquitous did smirk.

11:39 AM  
Blogger Project WANNABE said...

Amen.

11:58 AM  
Anonymous Englebert the Obsequious said...

It is cold and lacks dressing and has the wrong meat on it, I should've said.

1:05 PM  
Blogger Project WANNABE said...

Yeah, it doesn't sound like a reuben to me. Boston is not exactly America's deliland. Bastards.

3:47 PM  

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