Friday, May 04, 2007

Bogol Clowan Update

The Clowan Cycle Archives Project
Critical Internet Reader's Edition

It's been over two years since we issued our definitive critical edition of the well-known Clowan Cycle from the enigmatic Arlington Hynes of the popular blog Bogol. Well, this elusive folk artist of the digital age hasn't been idle, and it's time to bring our Archives Project up to date.

In fact there was so much material available, and it spanned such a wide range of perspectives, that I asked two of our departments to collaborate on this collection: our award-winning Literary Metacriticism Staff and our newly-formed Paranormal Homeland Defense Staff. I hope you enjoy reading the results as much as they enjoyed working together!

Daniel D'Ouchebag
Chief Editor in Chief

The Clowan Cycle (Earliest Posts First)

My Acedemiac Carrer
A Nihgt of Terer
Teh Clowan of Gluocester
Mr. Hrblrblr
Acidophilus and Coriander
Oblesburg (Part I)
Ernie's Grill (Part II)
A Real Smart Fella (Part III)
I Never Did Like to Shoot a Dame (Part IV)
Nothing Personal, Kid (Part V)
Meny Yers Ago in teh Old Cuontery
Dear Lord Make Them Go Away
Parogramign Sucks
The Wages of Clowanery
Teh Gatharing Strom
Clowany Finds a Home (Part I)
A Tiring Day (Part II)
A Quiet Night (Part III)
Janesville, Iowa (Part IV)
So U Thikn Bats Cant Run Eh?
Daamn Cops
A Cotionery Tale

Appendix A: Nation of Clowns
At this critical time in what many experts believe may be a severe national crisis, Mr. Hynes may well be our nation's foremost investigator of clown phenomena nationwide. But many, many other scientifically-trained correspondents (bloggers, law-enforcement personnel, students, retirees, and other witnesses of a highly reliable nature) have reported on "CLOWNAC" (believed to be the top-secret FBI term for Clown Activity). Here are just a few of the many thousands of incident reports believed to exist.
Mad Clown Disease
Evil Clown Caught
Asshole on a Unicycle
Clowns in Product Advertisements
Where the Bad Clowns Go
Miss McDonald
Rebel Clown Army (reported by Maud)

Appendix B: Project WANNABE Internal Memoranda
Very early in this dynamic and groundbreaking collaboration between the Literary Metacriticism Staff and the Paranormal Homeland Defense Staff here at Project WANNABE, it became clear to our Human Resources Department (if to no one else) that some really interesting things were happening. At the recommendation of legal counsel, we meticulously maintained a paper trail.

1. Dissenting Opinion of the Literary Metacriticism Editor
2. Dissenting Opinion of the Paranormal Homeland Defense Editor
3. Clarification: Literary Metacriticism Staff
4. Private Email: "I won't work with these twits!"
5. Amplification: Paranormal Homeland Defense Editor
6. Private Email: "You can't make me work with these lunatics!"
7. Friendly Reminder: Project Wannabe Harassment Policy (Verbal Abuse)
8. Violently Dissenting Opinions of Literary Metacriticism Staff, Spouses, Children and Pets

9. Complacent Reiteration by the Paranormal Homeland Defense Editor
10. Friendly Reminder: Project Wannabe Harassment Policy (Menacing)
11. Letters of Resignation (Various)
12. Friendly Reminder: Project Wannabe Harassment Policy (Grievous Bodily Harm)
13. Attorney General's Announcement: Persons of Interest in the "Clowan Reporter Killings" Case


Blogger Project WANNABE said...

I'm pretty sure this is the only blog post I've seen that has appendices. So I have that going for me.

8:11 AM  
Blogger HA HA HA said...

ddude man thannak god u got maroe time on ur hnands then i have!

6:43 PM  
Blogger Project WANNABE said...

lol yep.

6:46 PM  
Blogger Pierre said...

Hahah.... brillaint. I'm sure there is a thesis in there somewhere! Keep up the good work and God bless.

3:01 AM  
Blogger Project WANNABE said...

lol thanks

5:35 AM  

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