Cryptozoology Update

One of our staffers saw this terrifying creature floating over the valley this morning. It appears to be a gigantic aerial translucent invertebrate of some kind. He estimated its dimensions to be approximately 30.48 meters (a hundred feet) long. Unfortunately our reporter fled indoors before he could get a really accurate impression. Disciplinary action is pending.

Cryptozoology, the scientifically advanced study devoted to the entirely legitimate discovery of heretofore unknown large animals, is probably the only reasonable explanation for the photograph. Some scientific comments. In-house experts theorize that gas sacs filled with heated digestive gasses enable the mammoth creature to float in the air. (Intriguingly, that means of levitation is not impossible in principle for human beings. Though it does seem to be disappointingly rare.) Also, a staff photographer commented that the autofocus feature on modern digital cameras tends to make these pictures less convincing than they were back in say the 1950s. That makes the find even more frightening. The implication is that these menacing creatures are somehow sensitive to the nuclear radiation emitted by electronic gear, and have become more camera-shy as a result.

Project WANNABE Paranormal Homeland Defense Staff